Que desde que rompimos, ya no me importa con quien me peleo, a quien le grito... con quien estoy bien o con quien estoy mal, ya no me importa quien se va o quien se queda...
Hago y digo cosas estúpidas...
... y me recuerdo que te dije que te fueras...
y recuerdo cuanto te amo y cuanto deseo que vuelvas...
...me vuelvo a recordar... que te dije que te fueras...
porque ya contigo o sin ti... ya no me importaban las cosas
Hace poco terminé con mi novio, me siento mejor. Pobre...
Naya me escribió justo cuando estaba en la segunda sesión de mi tatuaje, y curioso escuchaba "The Final" ...y se acabó, aún me duele en el alma, haber terminado todo esto con ella, pero ya no podía más, ya no podía más estar atada a ella, la amo aún, como la he amado siempre, pero ya no había más para ambas... ya no...
Bien, creo, que es muy mio el motivo por el cual me hice este tatuaje. Quedó un poco extraño por el diseño que saqué, pero... no lo sé, como que no me importa, es que me gusta mucho, lo amo y estoy muy orgullosa, le agradezco bastante a Moz por hacerlo, y por sus palabras de esa noche, lo haré, me daré mi lugar.
Me siento...abandonada, pero poco me importa que se queden, es como una enorme apatía a la "lealtad" de la gente.
Me siento cansada... harta un poco... decepcionada bastante.
Estoy perdida y hundida entre sentimientos que no son míos, he olvidado mucho de mi y lo que yo era, me quiero de regreso. Al menos era yo, miserable pero yo... ahora no sé que soy yo, que partes de mi si son y que partes me han tomado.
Yes, I'm angry, because she thinks I'll be here for her an eternity, and is true.
I saw born too many children. They are so little, so afraid... unprotected...
Why? Why? Why? (That's our word, Haku's and mine)
I'm so tired, so tired, I want to sleep and sleep and sleep... but it's a kind of tired that sleep can't fix.
I don't want this life. I don't want it.
And I don't like my "boyfriend." I don't enjoy being with him, I don't like his kisses, I don't like his face, I just don't know why I keep being with him.
いつかきっと、話してくれるよね？ someday, you’ll tell me everything, right? 悲しかったこと、辛かったこと、幸せだったこと．．．全部。 about the sad things, the painful things, the happy things…everything. いつか、きっと．．． I’m sure, someday
People say She loves her in a crazy way, and that makes her the most stupid person because she´s living the same lie once again, but she keeps loving her in that huge way.
The thing is, since I don't like people know this side of me, and I need get out of this depression, I'll write here things I don't want everybody know, I have another blog to the life I want people see, is not a lie, but this is the part, I hide behind that smile.
Is good people doesn't know you at all. You don't have to explain everybody what happens to you, and is better just them knows you as the "funny girl" or whatever.
This is the part of me, maybe the real part.
Since she left me, things not get better, get worse maybe. I got a boyfriend days ago, is a good boy, is cute, is romantic, is... kind of handsome?
I know him since I was... 15 maybe? Nothing really relevant, he just loved me in secret and I knew it, we talked just before I finished my studies in preparatory, nothing more than "Hello" he was a friend of my friend, thats why I met him.
We talked again on Facebook, and the same... nothing relevant, till I invited him to my Uncle´s wedding... and we kissed and everything started... "I deserve a chance" I said to myself.
I like to be with him, is funny... he likes books and museums, things I like... but even he said it "Your heart is like a potato" "I hope someday you get this words in your rock heart" things like that...
I always have been like this, be romantic is not... my type, but I tried some with the red haired, and I loved it... everything was perfect with her, all natural of me, nothing forced.
This is going in a good way with him. Is something new, not something to "replace"
I've modeling in some things, with friends, with people who I don't know but them are so glad that I worked with them, it's funny... I like it.
I go to the hospital with my father, he has cancer, and I thing i'm weak enough to die with him. Hard days come.
I miss her, and sometimes I lose control. Time. Time...
“If you want to cry, then cry. Decide by yourself whether you are important or not. Even if other people value you, nobody can do anything for you. Ultimately, it’s your problem so if you live without regrets, then over time I think that your problems would disappear."
I ran as fast as i could, without breath, without cry because i couldn't breath, and i couldn't breath... beacuse i couldn't cry.
...I stopped till i felt cold and dry my chest, I cried, I tried to understan and don't feel guilt I did all... and i came back at home.
Why I had to fight?
...and him just had to dance?
The wind pushed me softly to home, I couldn't breath again.
I was so bad, since the begining. Never enough.
"If I ever push you away, I don’t really mean to.When I tell you I don’t want to talk about it, I do, and I’m just looking for the right words.Give me a minute and if I can tell you, I will…I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis.I miss you really easy but I also like that we can be apart and we are both okay. I love the way we love the some of the same things.And I love how we love entirely different things.My head is a complicated pile of thoughts, and fears,and cravings,and dreams,and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and somehow for the future.I’m flawed and I’m human,I’m broken and I’m trying,I’m one person and have two hands and I have one heart and I love you and I’m so glad you are here. ( :♥" - N
Count (cars,plants, people blah blah) and divide it into 21
decimals? count again.
School grades: never 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. I don't like odd numbers on my grades, and 8 is really low, 6? PFF never.
(kyo+naya)(DEG)
(3+4)(3)=21
About food; NEVER odd colors, pieces (3 greenbroccoli1 orange carrot) gr, lt, plates (we are 5 in the house, i need eat later with my sister in the night, or not eat till only be 4, 2 persons in the house including me, normally are 3 so... )
Everyday... i realize how much i hate people, how thay are a bunch of lies, how fucked is all around me, painted in a wonderful way...
and they talk and talk about how wonderful is being there, in the university, in a good one... one of the best... wich obviously... has a bad bad sides and they know it, and they forget it soon...
how all what i dreamed has become in something i fear now, is too complicated...
I waited so much, for a lot of people, of my school... of my "friends" with wich i laugh in class...
but i'm a part of it, i'm still smiling... even inside i'm like hitting in the face of everything i discovered of everyone of them, of course there are good things, like... some teachers...
but i'm sure of something i feared since long time ago, and to my disgrace, is here now, in my mind...
Even being in the right place where i wanted... i feel complete, frustrated, depressed and everything what i feel in almost everywhere.
Midnights so dreary, tired and weary,
Silently pondering volumes extolling all by-now obsolete lore.
During my rather long nap - the weirdest tap!
An ominous vibrating sound disturbing my chamber's antedoor.
"This", I whispered quietly, "I ignore".
Perfectly, the intellect remembers: the ghostly fires, a glittering ember.
Inflamed by lightning's outbursts, windows cast penumbras upon this floor.
Sorrowful, as one mistreated, unhappy thoughts I heeded:
That inimitable lesson in elegance - Lenore -
Is delighting, exciting...nevermore.
