10

Diez meses.

Muero de ansiedad.
Mañana es mi exámen piloto.

Tengo una sensación espantosa en todo el cuerpo, algo de nauseas.
Todo me provoca ansiedad, voy a desfallecer...

Han sido diez meses, sin duda alguna, muy buenos para mi en cuanto a la relación que llevo con ella.
Te amo mi Naya.

Gracias por estar conmigo :)
Hoy no te vi...
ya casi no te veo...

He tenido muchas ganas de llorar estos últimos meses, pero no he podido desahogarme.
Tal vez porque muchas cosas bonitas lo han impedido.

Ro-botic. $$$

Me la he pasado comiendo comida para bebé
pobres bebés, no diré la marca... pero se ha convertido en pura azícar hecha papilla (sin fruta obvio) y pure de pollo transgénico.



Mi IMC es de 17.11... FAIL

I'm afraid of counting calories for the rest of my life.

He soñado varias veces contigo, sueño que me perdonas.
Quiero ya poder vivir sin arrepentirme de haberla cagado contigo, con nuestra amistad que apenas empezaba y que tanto quería. Quiero mandarlo ya al carajo y que no me importe.

Nayaaa mi Naya...cuanto extraño pasar horas y horas contigo.

The golden age, mis 20 años... menos unos 6-7 de vida mal gastada...
tengo que recuperarme.

No tiene que darme miedo la comida.

Que estupidez.

Que tonta...

Como sea...

muero de frío

Ssss uh~

Oh my god what have I done?(do it again)

All I wanted was a little fun(do it again)

Turn of my ro-botic brain.

All my thoughts are all the same (♥♥♥all insane♥♥♥)

私のことを覚えていてほしいの

Baby...

I'll take you for a ride

On my garbage truck

I'll take you to the dump

...Cuz you're my queen

Take you uptown

I'll show you the sights

You know you wanna ride

I got a stereo

you just gotta turn the knob

And baby we'll go

As far as we can

I'll be your garbage man

I'll take out your junk

and crush it down

♥

Sleep with you.

Año nuevo.

Me gustaría más, continuar...

que volver a empezar.

ooh here she comes

Remember back in the days, We are the woo woo~

Don't forget back in the days...

I'm always there

8 meses♥

♥I LOVE YOU MY PANDA POO♥

AMAZING DAY♥

♥you´re the ONE♥

i could die for you...

i really love you, LIKE CRAZY, MY NAYA♥

Día ESPECTACULAR!

Yes.

I REALLY WANT YOU WITH ME

Despues de casi una semana, regrese a la escuela...
no sabia que responder cuando me preguntaban porque habia faltado tanto
hice un examen de español...reí un poco...

pero no te sacaba de mi mente...

Naya, no sé que hacer contigo... i don't know what can i do for you...

i need you

INSANA

7...

NEVER FORGET that...

I LOVE YOU MY NAYA

te amo

without you ...i'm nothing

.Time.

[wait?

no more...]

.Plus. -La dispute+

You did it wrong today
you couldn't finish any math problem
you forgot basical things
you failed
Y O U   F A I L E D  I N  M A T H E M A T I C S

you are so stupid

and you will pay for it



[Today i had a crisis after mathematics class, my face bleed and everybody saw it. I'm a monster. And you still not being thin enough]
.keep listening while you read.

I.need.you.

calm down...

breath

think...

maybe it will never end...

.kill.

Today, my dad said to me, he was afraid...

afraid of my sister could think about suicide...
he was sorry about i'm charging with her problems "But i've no problems" so... "i should help her"...
so... my mom can hide and pretend that there´s nothing wrong in the family
and him... just forget it...


-sighs-...

but i'm worried for her... and i hate it more...

I've too much things in my head...


i don't have to be worried for something she evident doesn't care

I'm not a good sister, i think i'm not her sister...
i tried to help her... talk with her...
but she doesn't hear me...


sometimes, when i'm a good person... i think about help her till make her see she is doing bad...
sometimes... when i'm a bad person... i just want to make shit her life...

i don't know what to do...

She has everything
a good school
a good job
she's thin
she's tall
she's thin
she's tall
she's thin
she's tall
she's tall... and thin




When i was 17... (she is 17) ... noone told me about the life... about how much i had to fight, noone helped me with all my disorders


Everyone of my family wants to help her, and talk with her...
but she... just lie...(haha) and is FUCKING stupid to lie


but shes doing it bigger and bigger because has shit as brain...
.
.
.
.
This morning was the last time i thought about suicide...
and noone (family) know it...
i've days without eat... and doesn't know it
i've days crying... and doesn't know it...
days without sleep...
i'm in love... and they think i'm too much serious for it... so... they don't know it...
my life is full of disorders...

and i'm glad they don't know it...

since the last month... i've thinking more about suicide
and i'm glad my dad thinks my sister is doing it, and not me...

I'm glad of be the bastard.

.half.

6 months

 simply fucking happy...