"What do you want actually" (He said...)

People I've lost, If I get them back, will ended fucking me as hell before make me happy.

Eyes.

I'm so tired...

Missing you :(

People say She loves her in a crazy way, and that makes her the most stupid person because she´s living the same lie once again, but she keeps loving her in that huge way.

I love you like stupid.

You should be happy babe...

HBD

She didn't say it.

                                                                                          but I still remember her voice, of one year ago~

We are lost, goodbye goodbye~

Filled with people that are less important than you.

Love, love, love...what is it good for?
.
.
.

To meet your eyes across 10361.069351818887 kilometers.

Believe.

I'm in love with her life.

I want to die in her.

How you can love someone that much?


Llevatelo todo y quédate conmigo.

Quiero morir de amor por ti.

...hasta las alcachofas tienen corazón.

How to start?

Where?...

The thing is, since I don't like people know this side of me, and I need get out of this depression, I'll write here things I don't want everybody know, I have another blog to the life I want people see, is not a lie, but this is the part, I hide behind that smile.

Is good people doesn't know you at all. You don't have to explain everybody what happens to you, and is better just them knows you as the "funny girl" or whatever.

This is the part of me, maybe the real part.

Since she left me, things not get better, get worse maybe. I got a boyfriend days ago, is a good boy, is cute, is romantic, is... kind of handsome?

I know him since I was... 15 maybe? Nothing really relevant, he just loved me in secret and I knew it, we talked just before I finished my studies in preparatory, nothing more than "Hello" he was a friend of my friend, thats why I met him.
We talked again on Facebook, and the same... nothing relevant, till I invited him to my Uncle´s wedding... and we kissed and everything started... "I deserve a chance" I said to myself.
I like to be with him, is funny... he likes books and museums, things I like... but even he said it "Your heart is like a potato" "I hope someday you get this words in your rock heart" things like that...

I always have been like this, be romantic is not... my type, but I tried some with the red haired, and I loved it... everything was perfect with her, all natural of me, nothing forced.

This is going in a good way with him. Is something new, not something to "replace"

I've modeling in some things, with friends, with people who I don't know but them are so glad that I worked with them, it's funny... I like it.

I go to the hospital with my father, he has cancer, and I thing i'm weak enough to die with him. Hard days come.

I miss her, and sometimes I lose control. Time. Time...

She was good, you don't have to cry.

(calm down, calm down...)

No, I'M NOT FINE.

Oh, and my Dad has cancer... and I need you, I fucking need you!

He.

“If you want to cry, then cry. Decide by yourself whether you are important or not. Even if other people value you, nobody can do anything for you. Ultimately, it’s your problem so if you live without regrets, then over time I think that your problems would disappear."




— Kyo- (Dir en grey)

I try..

but


I can't...



Sometimes I have a hard feeling (really hard) of calling you, txt you... and pray you come back to my life...

I'm dying

If I touched myself
the way you touched me
If I could hold myself
the way you held me

Then I wouldn't need you
I wouldn't need you
No, I wouldn't need you
to love me

If I could replace
the things you gave me
If I could see my face
without the tragedy

Then I wouldn't need you
I wouldn't need you
No, I wouldn't need you
to love me

But I do
So come back
Come back

If you could see the way I act
When I'm alone
If you could hear my voice crack
over the phone

Then you'd know I need you
You'd know I need you
Oh, you'd know I need you to love me

I can't handle this depression.